All Alone

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and — in spite of True Romance magazines — we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely — at least, not all the time — but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”

—	Hunter S. Thompson

There's no courage in suicide

So... August 29, 2011

Ricky stuck his service pistol - a .40 caliber - into his mouth and pulled the trigger.

Selfish bastard.

Family. Girlfriend.  Regular friends.  Co-workers.  All lost out when Ricky pulled the trigger.

We'll never know what caused that action - no note.  But it had to be something pretty bad that he'd rather cause the pain to his family and friends instead of facing the problem head on.

His Hispanic machismo culture - the Marines - his job - all ultimately contributed to his action.  These exterior pressures made him believe - enough to pull the trigger - that there were zero alternatives. 

But for me it means that there's no more photo-buddy trips.  No more yelling at the TV when a sports team is on.  No more beers together.  No more honest, good and deep friendship.

Selfish.  Fucking.  Bastard.